This post doesn't have a title yet. Maybe by the end of typing this up I'll have an idea of what it should be called. I remember my childhood like a fog... life has been a fog for a long time. Barely able to understand or process anything right in front of me. I think that's why I questioned my gift for so long. I remember telling my therapist that a friend thought I was a medium and she was so accepting. In fact every single mental health professional I've known believes in what I do. I think it's just me that has those questions of self doubt. Who am I? How much of myself should I share? Am I enough? Am I hard working? Am I making people proud?
My mind is faced with these questions more often then it should. In fact I know my brain tricks me daily into believing I could never be enough. I'm glad I'm learning it's a liar.
I've experienced so much spiritually my entire life. I remember after my father passing there was a period of time from age 6-8 that I don't recall experiencing spirits, but after that surely changed. I also remember some things from before his passing. I think the farm helped remember those experiences and connect with new.
We moved into an old farm house growing up. We had so many animals and it was literally the perfect place for a kid to be raised.
We had dogs, pigs, a horse and we also helped sometimes with the neighbors animals. They had cows, sheep, pigs, and goats! They also had some birds and dogs. Maybe a cat or two. I was surrounded with reasonable responsibility for my age. My mother never forced me into chores but I willingly helped anytime I felt I needed to. I remember mucking stalls and feeding animals. My favorite part was escaping to the woods any chance I had.
The woods of southwestern Pennsylvania are more beautiful than you'll ever know. There's an energy about this land that grounds you in a heartbeat. The sun shining golden through the trees revealing mushrooms, other plants and animals. It's an honor to have experienced nature the way I did growing up.
Picking flowers and berries. Learning to butcher our own animals like pig and deer. Few people in my family apparently thought it was all a bit much for a little girl but I disagree. It gave me structure and skills I'll have for life.
When you have money and everything you need you tend to forget that it's ok to live simple. Having grown up between two different types of families I learned getting a little dirty in the mud is never a bad thing. But sometimes that lifestyle is judged.
Never knowing the perspective of others, I'll never know why they judged my mother and how she raised me. Mom... Miss Catherine Mary Glad. Having lost her soulmate (my father) when I was six I guess wasn't enough for people to be compassionate. I'll tell you all the truth about my mother. My mom is the hardest working person I know in absolutely everything that she does. Every single day that I remember of this life she's done something. If it's not for an employer it's for herself, she just can't sit still. My mom is stubborn but soft. She loves the people in her corner more than anything. My momma always goes above and beyond to help and support anyone she can. My mom is simple yet complex, and I'm sure we'll talk way more about her as we get to know each other.
She always believed in me, and nurtured who I am. Thats part of why I'm excited to share these stories with you.
We have a lot to get through so I'll be back soon to share more soon!
K I Love You Bye!!!!